Wednesday, October 6, 2010


So I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything which is fantastic. Anyway, I just finished a short section talking about the Theory of Relativity - things moving super fast appear to be shorter and slower when seen by someone NOT moving super fast. As Bryson says: "The effect actually happens every time you move. Fly across the United States, and you will step from the plane a quinzillionth of a second, or something, younger than those you left behind. Even in walking across the room you will very slightly alter your own experience of time and space."

So. I made the next logical thought - running moves you faster than walking so by running you actually ARE making your life longer compared to those who don't run. Huzzah for that extra tenth of a second by the end of life!

Unless you look at it the way Denis Leary does when he talks about smoking taking ten years off your life - "Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair kidney dialysis fucking years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!?"

But I prefer to think that running will keep me healthier than that to the end.


  1. So..... the reason I appear so short and slow to the rest of you is because I am moving so much faster, relatively, than the rest of you?!?!

    Love that theory!!!


  2. The Lorentz Contraction would make you look flatter, not shorter (there's a nasty limerick that springs to mind...)

    I spent ten years listening to Denis Leary tell jokes one evening.

  3. Steve - just what I need - to appear shorter, flatter and slower!